http://www.baby-gates-direct.com/gates_g70.htm
i found a "hearth gate" which i assume would be appropriate dimensions and is black and relatively less kennel looking.

now all i need is a boy, conception, and labor and then i can put my theory in action!

my most recent favorite thing about j:
the other day i went to the bathroom and she pointed at my custard tattoo and identified it as a cat, not a squirrel or a tailed bear, but a cat! granted, she says "meow" with most unidentifiable mammals, but it endeared me nonetheless

oliver and megan stopped by my apt for what i thought would be a brief moment today. however, oliver got all excited about a new environment and it lasted longer than i thought and unfortunately postponed (eliminated) megan's nap. i should have assumed if oliver asked a thousand questions in his familiar house, there would be even more somewhere new. "lauras clothing is on her floor... WHHHYYYY?" ... "this is a bathroom... WWHHHHYYY?"... "laura has a bathroom... WHYYYYY?"

but he quickly found 1) my large exercise ball and 2) my roommates large cage of tennis balls and spent a VERY long time taking them out, bouncing them on the coffee table, putting them back, and thankfully, not throwing them at megan. every time i mentioned the possibility of leaving he would say "olivers not ready. oliver is having fun at lauras apartment." he said this even as we left, though he followed me out the door. yet, he wasnt his running around, having fun self. im blaming it on the endofsummer and stomach flu but i hope animated, engaged oliver comes back.

megan was a little less entertained, she found a picture of herself in my room and seemed interested but confused, why would a strange place have a photo fo her?! she knawed on that fabric frame, stared at her reflection in the sliding glass door, chased balls, and successfully avoided oliver. but she was sleepy, fell asleep in the stroller pretty much by the time we left my building. oliver picked flowers for his mom from my courtyard (none of which i believed survived the way home and his play with them in the bathroom) and walked home with me asking more and more questions. "laura's apartments there... WHY?" what does this question mean? why did they build an apt complex so close to his home. why does laura live stalkingly close to him? why has he not noticed it before?

birthday season seems to be over(for a while) but i realized tonight, its only a few months from megan being eighteen months!!! holy crammoly! i still think of her as a baby, even though she insists on using my fingers as walking props and is already quite insistent on communicating. but eighteen months, i consider that mini-person size! shell be walking-ish, languagey-ish, and in many ways, much more of a peer to elliott and her co-op mates. i also realized her sleep schedule is gonna start maturing too, which may mean goodbye to morning naps. i suppose this means more work during my drowsy mornings but im excited because it means more bonding time!

i feel like ive been using a lot of exclamation points in my life lately. my apologies.

i dont get to put elliott down for sleep very often but sunday his parents went out. E is quite possibly one of the easiest kids to go down, usually no crying or lengthy bedtime rituals. however, i think he associates me coming over with playtime. we had a fairly lengthy period of cleaning toys up and then taking them back out. then he decided he wasnt in the mood for books. i think we read one book(whereas in the day he'll request about seven)and then quietly hung out in the rocking chair before he went to bed.

so easy. i hope it stays the same when he gets his toddler bed.

bea came over for a short playdate on saturday. we goofed around, played in the sun chair, bounced balls big and small. surprisingly, i didnt hear any noise complaints from my neighbors below so im happily assuming they moved out. we made muffins, banana chocolate chip, substituting the oil with applesauce. they were actually very good and i ate them for breakfast all week. bea's mom came to pick her up and we chatted for a bit, which was nice. being a nanny can be weird in that you are thrown into other people's private spheres while they remain relatively unaware of your own so when its exciting when i have an opportunity to show them a part of my life.

thursdays with julia are always a little less eventful because we have ballet with bea. but today julia was so babbly and happy, i dont even know if we did much aside from giggle and chase eachother and play. her favorite word is milk, though half the time she just yells "gik". we took a nap together, got up, diaper change and then went to snack where she was entirely disinterested in food. got bea, which is always a lengthier process than predicted. got to ballet, early (ish)! bea was in such a great mood and totally chatty the whole time. julia went into a huge milk/gik babblethon, the one time we didnt bring her sippy cup. so we go to the bakery, and get milk. julia was expecting more from a store with cases and cases of cookies so i caved and we split a minicookie. its so awesome to not have an arm always full with her, shes becoming quite an accomplished walker. on the sidewalk, she would try to run underneath my legs, not such a perfect fit when i wear moccasins. bea back in the car, hyperhyperhyper. back to the house, the very laura snack of bagel, honey, peanut butter. and then puzzles and cardmaking, quiet activities that dont make big messes. the card bea made me was amazing, it even had "hallmark" written on the back. how cute is that?! i cant believe she is almost five, considering the last five year old i watched was nora who was mean (hit, called names, threw fits) and entirely incapable of entertaining herself (wouldnt even try to draw actual things or interpet her drawings). its a relief to have jobs i dont dread and i can actually look foward to.

no one is my friend.

whats up with that?!

last week, elliott and i were playing with duplos and i pointed out the duplo man's moustache (though, btw, am i the only one who wonders why every duplo set comes with that midget mark twain?). elliot loved the word but i dont think he really understood what it meant. so this week, we took a trip to the bathroom with a crayola marker and drew moustaches. we took a ton of photos (see the unedited webshots post). i think elliott and i would do GREAT in a photobooth. he does pretty much every laura pic pose perfectly and usually even grabs props. moustached elliott seemed so much more scheming. he ran to the closet to play peekaboo, hes finally starting to understand it. im trying to get him to match it up with saying "peekaboo". his version is adorable, something like "keepa... boo". but the whole time, he just reminded me of a bad batman villian, he just get running and giggling and being foiled.

hes also realizing he can manipulate grownups. im not sure if thats how he understands please but he definitely know thats the word to emphasize when asking for anything. also, he had a small fall tonight (very small, no worries) and started to fake cry and when i asked what hurt, he replied, "tv, PLEASE." it was then i knew he was okay.

every day i watch julia, she just throws a new word out there. im sad i wasnt around for more of this stage with elliott but it was a period when him and megan were just too much of a handful together. its exciting to be around julia so much while shes learning! today, she stood up from the floor and totally clearly announced, "walk". im convinced she understands most of what i say and is starting to parrot quite often. she is getting a pretty good concept of what "laura" is though she doesnt really verbalize it. if i ask her to touch laura, she will come hug my legs or if i ask her where lauras nose is, shell point correctly about 80% of the time. she seems to be moving a little away from signing, instead of signing "all done" at lunch, she just mumbled and waved byebye. our new routine is i just put her food down on the little table and if shes still hungry, i will rebib and she'll sit down and munch. i highly prefer booster seat julia to high chair julia. she is much tidier and conscious of her bite sizes. she seems to be loving bananas, every time she sees one she signs "banana" and "want" or "please". which is fine with me since julia signing banana is pretty much the cutest thing ive ever seen.

she loves playing with her stroller and will put any beloved toy in it for a stroll. today she put a piece of banana in there and rode it around the kitchen before eating it. one of her new favorite games is to run with the stroller between my legs. i wonder how long she will still be able to fit under my legs, she just keeps growing! her baby tummy is almost all gone and i miss her pudge. now she has little kid proportions, i cant lay her along the length of my lap, she is much too tall!

she is totally into music and grabs an instrument whenever she spots one in her toys. she also loves to dance, ive been slow dancing tons with her lately, spinning and bouncing her though im moving more towards dancing with her on the ground instead of holding her. i need to get around to making a cd, i have a hard time finding appropriate upbeat music on the radio and though we will listen to music on myspace and dance, she always wants to stare at the screen, which makes me a little uneasy. i struggle with how much to use technology with kids. i actually dont have inherent issues with kids and tv/computers (im such a product of my time). i have issues with 1) technology replacing parenting and 2) kids not engaging in technology. i hate when kids zone out, i usually quiz them every minute or so about what theyre experiencing and turn it off if they arent actively engaged. but julia is always interested in the machines more than anything and i cant help but foster that. when we dance, she wants to change the song and volume on either the kitchen radio or my pc. even if she likes the song, shes fascinated with muting and unmuting it. nonetheless, i dont want her to feel the need to stare at a screen while listening to music, especially if the visual doesnt pertain to the music at all. today i tried to show her other kids her age and a little older dancing on youtube. they made her giggle but didnt inspire her to join in so i think that will be the last time i try that.

she loves playing pretend, and stands at her pretend kitchen all the time. she has a few cars she likes to play with. its interesting seeing her interact with plastic toys that make noise. she has a more difficulty understanding the cause and effect than her wooden toys she is so used to. im so glad none of the kids i watch are tickle-me-elmo kids who expect every toy to make a noise when it is bumped. she also always wants to play potty, especially if i have just gone. we will put her up on her special seat, she will take a sticker off the seat, wipe her lower belly with toilet paper, push it down into the small opening between toilet seat and training seat, imitate a flushing noise, get off, put the sticker back on, flush, and wash hands. she is always so pleased with herself, i wonder if she really understands what grownups use the toilet for. regardless, im not getting my hopes too high, i think shes too young to have the bladder control for real potty training, i just appreciate the enthusiasm. today, julia sat on the toilet for around fifteen minutes while we read about northwest wildlife. i thought that maybe if she did go potty, she would have a better understanding of the system. in the process, she learned that owls say "whoo-whoo" and got pretty good at the sound but i dont think she understands what an owl is exactly. she pointed at random plants and animals while proudly saying "whoo-whoo". she also loved pointing at animals like the mink and saying "meow" (or rather, her impression of "meow"). i didnt have the heart to correct her, nor did i consider myself an authority on mink noises. she ended up soiling her diaper about half an hour after we left the bathroom. oh well.

every once in a while, gretchen will put julia down for her nap around the time i get there. today was such a day and after an hour or half or so, i heard julia babbling up on the monitor. i was eager to play so i didnt wait for her fussing. i guess this was a mistake. i came upstairs and she was cute as can be, sitting up in her crib with her doll. but as soon as she saw me, she started cryiing and repeating nono and mama over and over. i think she remembered her mom putting her down and was confused about me. im sure she usually overlooks this issue when she starts fussing in her crib because i rescue her from loneliness but today, i wasnt a cappio AND i interrupted her babble time. the nerve.

I watched megan this morning, she wears a size four diaper!!! when did that happen? it seems so big, i remember when i first watched her, she was barely a size two. Today was one of the few times i have seen her have some seperation issues. She saw oliver and kristin on the sidewalk through the window and cried (i suspect this may have been a moment where she realized others may have fun without her!). but she was quickly back to destroying my duplo creations. its great to spend time with her while oliver isnt around because i get to see her mimic his actions without him protesting. today, she climbed up on the big rocking chair in the bedroom like oliver often does before nap. she sat perfectly, no wiggling, no attempts to dismount,perfectly confident with a hand on each armrest and resting against the back. every time i stopped rocking her, she would wiggle her head (mimicking the rocking), signalling me to start again. she has a hard time going down for naps. when she was little she could be lulled into sleep at any moment, much like me. now, she always wants to be awake and will tantrum if she gets the slightest impression that you want to put her down for a nap. of course, once she is sufficiently worn out, she always goes down for sleep quite easily. she doesnt even want to be held at that point, she just wants time to herself in her crib. I wish she knew how to sign because i am not always certain of her thoughts but overall, shes a pretty straightfoward, easygoing kid and im sure she will be babbling nonstop soon enough.

julia:
So big! so eager! shes always smiling (minus the very occasional 2 sec tantrums). Gretchen tells me that julia has been going down for sleep without much help, which i have yet to experience. she will go down for a nap with me quickly if shes in my arms (usually while listening to me read or a song from my pc) or the stroller, but she still has issues when i put her in the crib. She signs nonstop, loves my blue myspace pig, herbie. she will sign for apple when she wants to feed him, sign wash for when he is dirty and giggle the whole time. Today, she lost a ball under the sofa in the living room. she yelled "uh-oh", ran to the pantry in the kitchen, grabbed a yardstick, and tried to retrieve the ball. in the process, i measured her, about 31 inches (so big!). gretchen assured me this wasnt a regular game, im fascinated by her problem solving. we then batted the ball with the yardstick in a makeshift game of hockey, i love thinking of her as a little tomboy. i love how im basing this all on her favorite animal being slimy frogs (though i doubt she knows theyre slimy, i have a theory she wouldnt mind) and her affection for bouncing balls (ignore this being a trait of most toddlers).